the Glare of Despair

I'm tired, I'm run down, and beat up,
My soul although is in repair
I'm sitting in despair
What is it that I'm doing?
Nothing seems to be going right
Living my life for one seems right
And doing my own thing could be easier
Making things lazier
I try and I try and I try so hard
To love right, breath light
By my cup is cracked by human despair
While we share the glare
I'm living in idiocracy
We want peace
But we're not willing to pay the price.
To be walked on and spit on
Our pride gets in the way.
All I can say is we got along way
To break away from the tracks of safety
But we're waiting till some one can break
The insanity that we're living in
Breathing in.

Coffee Shop Confession

Who knew that spark so simple and so timid,
Could create a drive so fierce and untamed.
It started with a conversation
Between Three Little Boys
And a Big Bad Girl.
From this conversation
Spawned a brand new creation,
That fed the soul and gave meaning
To all that is chaos.

I believe there periods in our life when we move with great passion and other times when we get completely lost and we can't find our way back to sanity. I remember the first time I ever wrote a poem. I remember the words flooding my mind and soul, as I connected each words to different ones to make the meaningless sentences into something of reason. For me I found meaning in those meaningless sentences. The fact that I could create something and no one could touch it. They could make remarks about its texture, about the flow of the words, or if it made sense or not. But for them they could not say it wasn't beautiful. They could not say it wasn't art. I found that sometimes in art we need to break the rules and push the physical boundaries for our art to actually break through among the critics. Sometimes I wish it was more acceptable to break the rules that need to be broken. Sometimes I wish there was not a thing called race or ethnicity that separates us, but the fact that our souls are each uniquely different. I wish that when to people stood together one would see an idealist and the other a realist. I wish that we would not see black and white nor male or female, but humans, people, creating from dreaming, living from hoping, and breathing from loving.

My dream one day is to open up a coffee shop. Apart from the fact that I have been drinking coffee since about the age of seven, I love the atmosphere of most coffee shops. Granted there are some coffee shops that are all about the profit of massed produced coffee, but there are those coffee shops that create a beautiful atmosphere for catalyzing relationships and conversations. I want that! I want to create a place like that.

What is a world without Playgounds

Feed me, feed, me, why won't you just give me what I need. All you do is take. I need to grow but there are things to do, money to make, and people to talk about behind their backs. I want to be authentic, but no one will let me be true. I am still discovering this world, love and breathing. But why do I feel like I must fall in line to the secrets of time. But my child mind is wondering, whats more and I am to be anything. But everyone is running around like ants on this green ground. I want to break away from obligation and the life of maturity. Can I not make a difference without being mature? Or does that bar me from humanity or being accepted among society? I know that I trust with for eternity and you can't. Is my child mind to real for this reality. Can I actually comprehend life better than your mature mind? What kind of wisdom do you have if you can't even be honest to me? I guess I have a lot of "growing up" to do, because it doesn't make sense!

Please Excuse the Absent

Wow has it really been this long since I last wrote on this thing? Thats amazing...my bad! Its amazing how the journey of life can lead you to many different aspects in life. It can lead to weird conversations of the mind. It can lead to things never before thought of. Hopefully I can more of these conversations and not just with myself.

But let us take a break from reality just a bit and indulge in its serenity. Lets create a dream world apart from reality where every one is accepted. Everyone is welcomed to come as they are. Where one is not based upon their talents or abilities, but rather their Character and responsibility. Responsibility to humanity.

In the wild

There is a poison in my veins

Killing these selfish desires

Leaving only an element

Found in its rare form

So untamed, uncontrolled

There is a poison in my veins

That changes the way I live

Off beat steps are my path

Traveled by so few

I find this my home

There is a poison in my veins

Changes these mouthed words

Words often unspoken

To many have lost meaning

To many deemed worthless.

There is a poison in my veins that somehow found its way to my blood in the secret of light. This poison has begun to change everything I do, the way I live, the way I talk, the way I see life. I connect this poison to my savior and in its true form creates life from lifelessness. This poison I find is key to genisis, the creation of all things, the breath of all things. Without it we find a loss of meaningful words that are so often unspoken. Join me as this poison takes control. Do not fight this poison, do not neglect it, embrace this poison, let it consume you in all its glory.

Gravity Gets Things Done!

My favorite moments in life are the ones the bring us back to the beginning. The conversations, the community, the events, that bring one back to the heart of things. I had a great conversation, with a great friend, a great mentor, a great human being. We talked about life and how we were bring Jesus to table with our friends and other relationships. Sometimes I get wrapped up with what I am doing, I forget who I am doing it for and why. I forget how they can help me in life.

Like gravity I am brought back to who I am, what I am doing, and why. Its moments like these I hope change is a huge factor. For a while I have been living in the motions. I am suffering from motions sickness. It sucks because motions sickness can be fatal sometimes. It can cause atrophy within the muscles and the voice of a person.

Thankfully there is a cure for that. Hopefully I get the treatment soon!