Freestyle Humanity

Moving

2008-10-06T11:19:00.000-07:00

So I am moving my blog. The reason is simple, simplicity. I have two blogs, one here on blogger and the other is on Wordpress. To simplify I am just going to move this blog over to Wordpress. The URL for my new blog is jonmears.wordpress.com this is were you will find the continuation of Freestyle Humanity a jounrey to find an underiscoverd meaning in a freestyle context.

Pastor Finch

2008-07-22T11:15:00.000-07:00

There is so much to say about this man, Pastor Dennis Finch. I found out recently that Pastor Finch had passed away Friday night July 18th. I was saddened to hear that he had passed away but at the same time was excited for him because I knew where he was going, home. I remember the first time I met Pastor Finch, it was as though he was on a track that he could not get off and the track led straight to me.

With a big smile on his face and a hand out stretched he said, "Hello young man, I am Dennis. What is your name?"

I replied with a quiet voice, "Jon."

With a response that startled me he said, "Jon nice to meet you. You know you remind me of myself when I was your age."

And just like that Pastor Finch was etched in my memory forever. The reason he would remain in my memory forever was simply because in a time of my life were I was down and depressed, dressed as a punk skater with black hair, that didn't care about anything, this man, Dennis came up to me and smiled.

Recently I have thought about how many people he has impacted with that smile he has, it was contagious! Pastor Finch's smile was a gift from God, there is no other way to describe it. So here is to a man who on this earth did a lot of things and truly left it better than it was before!

Apology

2008-07-16T21:55:00.000-07:00

Again I have to apologize, it has been a long while since I have written anything. Life is amazing, you find yourself going down one path and as soon as you know it you are going in a completely different direction. I think this is what happened to me and my life. There were a lot of changes going on within a small period of time and I have been trying to catch up and thankfully I think I have. Along with the changes I have met some new people, started new friendships, and learned something about being an adult, something I wish to share with you. Since I have turned the "BIG 21" and being granted the world(meaning I can have an alcoholic drink in a bar or pub if I choose to do so), I have realized one thing, being 21 means nothing.

The only thing that has changed is that I can now legally walk into a bar or pub. Other than that nothing else is different. The type of people you meet is the same, the type of relationships you have is the same, there is nothing more of being an adult than the fact that you get this cool sideways ID(which I might add that mine is still vertical, thank you very much), that grants you access to something, kind of like the cool kids club.

I am not disappointed nor am I anger, but more stupefied, confused, dumb struck. I thought my relationships were going to be different now that I am an "adult". Come to find out that adolescence and maturity, they are not so much different. I thought there would be more communication, more understanding, more acceptance, but I was left in the static, along with everything else.

To me, life doesn't make sense right now. Maybe this is what I need in this moment of time, I just wish I was clued in on the reality of it all. But then again, I feel most "adults" are in this category.

Perspective

2008-05-06T13:06:00.001-07:00

Its seeming each step I take

the more trouble I make

never staying three steps forward

always taking two steps back

I tried and I tried so hard

looking upward to the sky asking, "why lord?"

It could be so easy to give up and stop

But looking at the life of my Pop

Never looking back with his head held high

looking upward to the sky saying, "thank you lord!"

Alone All Together

2008-05-01T22:09:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting on these rhymes
To remind me of the times
of my so called "value"
Asking everybody, "how are you?"
There's people that I know caught up
doing something new each day
living like they a young pup
waking every morning, getting on their knees to pray
hoping each day to continue something new
as they walk by the paralyzed
with their faces so blue.

Its the screaming of the souls
as our shoes take the step
marching in a line to the end of time
along as we go looking like a drone
so we might as well not do it alone.

We're all living alone in our own reality
speaking so much to our own fallacy
but who new there was so much wrong
thinking no was gunna get hurt because we didn't belong
the tears of our fears kept seeping through the lies
of the pain that we tried to disguise.
slowly we cry
dieing deep down inside
we're all alone but all together
so we're all the same like the birds of a feather.

Its the screaming of the souls
as our shoes take the step
marching in a line to the end of time
along as we go looking like a drone
so we might as well not do it alone.

Its the screaming of the souls
as our shoes take the step
marching in a line to the end of time
along as we go looking like a drone
so we might as well not do it alone.

Conversations

2008-04-04T17:23:00.000-07:00

What is going on? Lately I have been hearing more and more conversations of faith and belief. This doesn't bother me, actually I am quit excited to be hearing these conversations. But the thing that is weird is that only recently in the past month have these conversations have been happening. Why now, is this all happening and how can it continue?

Endurance is a virtue

2008-03-17T22:31:00.000-07:00

There are those moments when all the pain, energy, effort, time, tears, sweat, blood, bruises, and headaches seem like little bumps in the road and it's smooth sailing. Like life isn't hopeless but hopeful. I don't know what importance these words serve to you who read this. I hope its encouragement. I hope that you look at your own life and the things you try to accomplish and think, its all worth it, this is why I am here.

I had a long weekend. There were a lot of things that happened, all good, just tiring. I was able to hang out with a couple of people and have some good conversations as well. I learned a lot about my self and about other people. I learned about the character of a few people and what they are truly capable of.

I can't help but think that a little of my effort helped them become who they are becoming, that I left my little mark on their lives. NOW, I am not saying this because I want to praise myself for being influential, but I look back at the people the have invested into me, their time, money and energy, and I am very great full for every person that has invested into me. So if you have invested into me, and you know who you are, THANK YOU!

Sorrow

2008-03-15T21:34:00.001-07:00

My heart is broken! My soul is weeping! There are some people that I know that I used to hang out with a lot back in the day of high school. I ran into one of the people that I still consider my friend but we have not hung out in ages or even talked except over the transfer of data on myspace that equals out to: "Hey man how are you?", "I am doing alright, U?", "Same", end conversation. I ran into this person at the grocery store and I looked at their eyes and a saw pain. I saw sadness and weary and it tore me apart inside. I wanted to simple just hug this person as long as a I could and tell them it would be alright. But the words didn't come out, my arms didn't move, I didn't not hug my friend that I felt needed love. I wanted to love them so badly, I wanted to give them my hope and my love, but every time I tried to do so, I held on for dear life. I didn't let go of my hope and my love.

All I can think about right now is that everyone, all of you, are simply loved!

Importance of Moderation.

2008-03-10T15:21:00.000-07:00

The beginning, middle, or end. Which is more important? Some would say the start is more important, because if you don't start there is no middle or end. Some would say the middle is the most important, because this is where a person grows the most, experiences the most, or lives the most. And some would say the end is the most important because if you don't know where you are going then you don't know when or where to start, also if you are in the middle and don't know the end, you are simply just wandering.

I believe all of these are true as well as wrong at the same. I believe the most important is moderation. The saying goes to much of a good thing is bad. And not enough of a good thing is bad. I think that the beginning, middle, and end are as equally important than the other. It's kind of like building a fire. Without the proper moderation of ingredients fuel, oxygen, and heat source, you cannot properly build a fire. So it is without the proper moderation, meaning the beginning, middle, and end, you cannot properly live life.

So maybe the most important thing is to have a healthy, living soul.

Friendship

2008-03-06T12:37:00.000-08:00

I have always known friendship at its truest form was something to be cherished and sought after. I was doing a little reading of Aristotle's work named Nicomachean Ethics and came across something very interesting. Aristotle was talking about friendship. Here is what he said;

"After what we have said, a discussion of friendship would naturally follow, since it is a virtue or implies virtue, and is besides most necessary with a view to living. For without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods; even rich men and those in possession of office and of dominating power are thought to need friends most of all; for what is the use of such prosperity without the opportunity of beneficence, which is exercised chiefly and in its most laudable form towards friends? Or how can prosperity be guarded and preserved without friends? The greater it is, the more exposed is it to risk. And in poverty and in other misfortunes men think friends are the only refuge. It helps the young, too, to keep from error; it aids older people by ministering to their needs and supplementing the activities that are failing from weakness; those in the prime of life it stimulates to noble actions-'two going together'-for with friends men are more able both to think and to act. Again, parent seems by nature to feel it for offspring and offspring for parent, not only among men but among birds and among most animals; it is felt mutually by members of the same race, and especially by men, whence we praise lovers of their fellowmen. We may even in our travels how near and dear every man is to every other. Friendship seems too to hold states together, and lawgivers to care more for it than for justice; for unanimity seems to be something like friendship, and this they aim at most of all, and expel faction as their worst enemy; and when men are friends they have no need of justice, while when they are just they need friendship as well, and the truest form of justice is thought to be a friendly quality."

Friendship it seems, would be the answer to most of the worlds problems. Friendship in its truest form seems to benefit not only others but our selves as well. This is where there is an importance for community among nations and culture.

We want war to stop and end violence, child abuse and trafficking and we want justice for what has been done. But like Aristotle said, "the truest form of justice is thought to be a friendly quality."

So as the 1970's American multicultural band sensation War sang, "Why can't we be friends?".

Not For Sale

2008-02-25T13:05:00.000-08:00

I never have been and never will work in the sales industry. I believe God has created to be relational in all aspects of my life, in pleasure and in business. Meaning whether I am with a friend, a fellow co-worker, or boss I am always think about how they are, what they need, and how I can help.

A comment was made to me the other day that I needed to sell announcements for the church that I attend. Now I care deeply about the person who made this comment to me and I am not trying to put them down or to ridicule them for the comment they made to me. I know this persons heart and their intentions. But their comment of selling church announcements to people didn't settle well with me.

I don't think God intended for people to be a consumer in the church. I sometimes have trouble with mega churches, and what I mean by that is a church averaging over 5,000 people. The only reason I have trouble is that it seems, to me at least, that these are the churches overly concerned about your pocket book and what you are spend your money on. Now I know that this is not the case with ALL mega churches. I have seen and been to a few that have not come off as interested in a persons finances but rather their soul and who they are.

I am not saying money is bad, I am not saying its bad to promote events in the church. What I am saying is that if we are focused on selling what God has to say and offer, then I am out. My God is not for Sale.

Valentines Day

2008-02-14T16:07:00.000-08:00

One day a year we set out a time where we are supposed to be reminded and show the people closest to us, we care about them, that we love them. We buy extravagant gifts, flowers, candy, and many other things. This is the day were some husbands and boyfriends become the most romantic in their relationships, but any other day they are not as romantic.

I don't like Valentines day. Not because people become mushy mounds of skin, but rather that because one day a year is set out to remind us to love the ones we care about.

What if everyday of the year was like valentines day. That everyday or try every day to show love to the ones we care about in a spontaneous way. A way that no one is expecting.

Hope in the Headlights

2008-02-07T14:15:00.000-08:00

She Hoped I would stop
She Hoped I would Save Her
The lights illuminated her silhouette
There she stood frantic and waving
Standing in front of my car
She Hoped I would stop for her
The sound of the door unlocking
Was the sound of safety
She Hoped I would take her
She Hoped I could.
In the end Hope saved her
In the end Hope was her friend
In the end I did very little
She should have thanked Hope
Not me.

Where is Waldo

2008-01-27T13:57:00.000-08:00

Thats what I love about poetry
Its more than the words you read
Its whats in between,
You've got to look at the scene.
Trust me for one thing that is for sure
It's not like trying to find Waldo
With his stupid hat and candy cane shirt.
No it's an unexpected slap in that face.
You may not like it but tough,
life's unfair.
Its what I want you to feel,
awkward and weird.
I want you to stand and say,
thats not right.
When I say the wealthy are wise
and the poor are ignorant,
I want you to stand and say,
thats not right.
To often we take an unexpected slap in stride,
Like we just don't care
But I take that and read in between these lines.
And finding maybe we're just to scared.
Maybe we are to numb to reality
And the senses of life don't shock us anymore,
But we're left with the search to find Waldo...

Anarchy

2008-01-22T22:06:00.000-08:00

So a friend of mine wanted me to watch a movie called The Anarchist Cookbook. I figured there could be no harm in that, so I did. I got to say it was an interesting movie, based around a group of people living an anarchist life style.

The basic definition for anarchy is, a state of society without government or law. Most people think of anarchist as people who do whatever without a moral once in their body. This may be true in some cases but most anarchist believe in the responsibility of the individual.

But it was interesting because in the movie there was this guy who's original name was Peter but now goes by Puck, who was best friends with a guy that didn't have an education, was raised by parents that didn't care about him or want anything to do with him. In the movie Puck is there for his best friend and promises to watch over him and take care of him. But when Puck ends up under house arrest he is no longer able to watch over his friend. Puck's friend ends up getting to heavy into drugs and ends up over dosing on heroin.

Watching the movie made me realize how much we truly depend on one another for protection, guidance, companionship, and so much more. When Puck wasn't around for his friend, his friend died. I don't know if that was like a subliminal message in the movie, that we truly need one another to survive and live together looking after one another. But that is what I took away from the movie.

But to say the least it was an interesting movie. My favorite part in the whole movie is when Puck and his friend start working at a coffee shot and end up taking 20 shots of espresso and go ballistic on a caffeine high. The End.

Waiting and Wishing

2008-01-22T21:19:00.001-08:00

I have never really been the one of listening, rather more of action. This can get me into trouble sometimes. For example when I was young my family and I were in our maroon, seven passenger, 1995 Ford Aerostar sitting at the Lake City Way Dicks Hamburger joint. My mom, sister, brother, and I were sitting in the car while my dad waited in line to place our order. As we were waiting I decided I would push the cigarette lighter in for 5 seconds and then pull it out. So I did and when I look at it, the cigarette lighter wasn't glowing its normal orange redish color.

Before I could do anything my mom said to me, "don't touch it, it's hot". Like a good mom should, she knew I was thinking and what I was going to do, I was going to put my finger one the part you light the cigarette with.

Now you would think my mom would have taken the car cigarette lighter away from me, nope! She just let me do what I wanted to do. So sure enough I figured, it's not hot. So i put my finger on the cigarette lighter and before I could feel the pain, I smelt a burning stink in the car. I wondered what the heck that smell was. Of course it was my finger and soon enough I could feel the pain. Of course I was in shock and like a good mom all she said was, "I told you, you should have listened." But she knew! She knew I was going to do it, but she knew it was better for me to figure it out on my own.

Okay so back to the original statement, I act more than I listen. There times when God is wanting me to do something and I don't even have to pray about it. I know what God wants me to do. For example if God wants me to love on my friends the way God loves me, I am not going to pray about it, because from the get go I knew what was important, sharing the awesomeness that is God!

I have always had trouble with sitting and waiting for things to happen. I am not going to pray to God to tell me the answer when almost always its sitting right there in front of me and God is waiting for me to get off my lazy butt and go do something about it.

Beauty In Plain Sight

2008-01-22T14:42:00.000-08:00

So for the past two days it has been bright and sunny. Cold but sunny! Today I had to make a couple of deliveries to down town Seattle and man was it beautiful. Then sun beams were bouncing off the tall buildings lighting up the city. The water simmering like glass. I thought to my self, how often do I look at Seattle with such detail and attention? How much do I truly enjoy its beauty?

From the thought of Seattle and its simple beauty, I began to think how much beauty created by God is simply staring me in the face knocking me on the head like they do in that V8 juice commercial. The more I looked around me the more I began to see the simple beauty in things and places and people that I had never seen before, never in the 20 years that I have lived here. I realized as I was screaming down the I-5 corridor ( I wasn't really screaming in my car as I was driving, I was just going a little faster than I should have) I realized how quickly I blow through things without taking the time to pay attention to the simple beauty of things.

Its as the saying goes, simply stop and smell the roses. Enjoy where your at, take time to appreciate the little things as well as the big things in life. Appreciate the simple things!

Birds

2008-01-21T11:53:00.000-08:00

Listen! Can you hear it? Something doesn't sound right? I can no longer hear the birds singing. But still the old lady sits and listens and laughs and enjoys. She sits with her red bowler hat and her fluffy maroon overcoat, holding her hand out like a porcelain statue, waiting for the birds to pluck the individual grains from her shimmering palm. She hears them sing.
Filled with rage I become. Why her? Why! My mind explodes with envy, discontent, and anger. What does she have that I don't. What makes her so much better that she can hear the beautiful sounds of the calling birds.

I go to that old lady sitting there as she always does. That stupid smile on her face causes the corners of her mouth to seem an eternity apart.

I ask the old lady, "Ma'am, what is your name?"

She replied with a soft and gentle voice that made all your unease melt away, "they call me by many names". A bird fluttering their wings approaches the palm with such comfort and familiarity. With out hesitance the bird lands and seems almost at peace with the old lady.

I asked the old lady, "how come you can hear the calling of the birds? Why do they choose you and not me?"

Again She replied with that soft gentle voice, "They don't choose, you do."

How dare her! How dare her say that I choose whether I want to hear the birds or not. Of course I want to hear the birds, but I can't. I have concentrated so hard to hear that lovely sound. Those sound waves that massage you ears.

I asked the old lady, "please ma'am what is one of the names that you go by?"

The old lady turned her head to look at me. Her eyes staring deep into my soul and everything that I am. The world around me seeming to almost slow down. I could see the air brushing against the birds wings. The leaves surfing through the air as the feel to the ground.

The old lady look at me and said, "you can call me Love."

Flowing

2008-01-18T13:38:00.000-08:00

I don't know what it is about me and writing. I love to write and its my favorite art form. But there are times when I simply don't want to write. I have never been a big fan of conformity in the essence of never going after what you have always wanted to do. And with that I have trouble engaging in round-table discussion. The types of conversations that continue to go on and on and never really go anywhere. Where nothing is added to the conversation and it just stays the same.

Part of me is afraid to write because I don't want to write what everyone else is writing. But at the same time I realize that what I write and how I write is unique and different from everyone else. In the times that I feel unique and different, I tend to write more...A LOT more. But in the times when I feel like I am jumping on the band wagon and writing something just for the sake of adding my two cents into the overflowing cup of society, I won't write.

Now I am not saying that the people who do right quite often don't have anything good to say. I have friends who blog daily and weekly and by that I am encouraged to continue writing as much as possible.

So if you read this blog, thank you. But know it may be time to time that I write. It may be months, it may be days, it may be minutes till the next post. But if I need to say something, trust me...it will be written.

the Glare of Despair

2007-10-10T13:30:00.000-07:00

I'm tired, I'm run down, and beat up,
My soul although is in repair
I'm sitting in despair
What is it that I'm doing?
Nothing seems to be going right
Living my life for one seems right
And doing my own thing could be easier
Making things lazier
I try and I try and I try so hard
To love right, breath light
By my cup is cracked by human despair
While we share the glare
I'm living in idiocracy
We want peace
But we're not willing to pay the price.
To be walked on and spit on
Our pride gets in the way.
All I can say is we got along way
To break away from the tracks of safety
But we're waiting till some one can break
The insanity that we're living in
Breathing in.

Coffee Shop Confession

2007-10-09T11:59:00.000-07:00

Who knew that spark so simple and so timid,
Could create a drive so fierce and untamed.
It started with a conversation
Between Three Little Boys
And a Big Bad Girl.
From this conversation
Spawned a brand new creation,
That fed the soul and gave meaning
To all that is chaos.

I believe there periods in our life when we move with great passion and other times when we get completely lost and we can't find our way back to sanity. I remember the first time I ever wrote a poem. I remember the words flooding my mind and soul, as I connected each words to different ones to make the meaningless sentences into something of reason. For me I found meaning in those meaningless sentences. The fact that I could create something and no one could touch it. They could make remarks about its texture, about the flow of the words, or if it made sense or not. But for them they could not say it wasn't beautiful. They could not say it wasn't art. I found that sometimes in art we need to break the rules and push the physical boundaries for our art to actually break through among the critics. Sometimes I wish it was more acceptable to break the rules that need to be broken. Sometimes I wish there was not a thing called race or ethnicity that separates us, but the fact that our souls are each uniquely different. I wish that when to people stood together one would see an idealist and the other a realist. I wish that we would not see black and white nor male or female, but humans, people, creating from dreaming, living from hoping, and breathing from loving.

My dream one day is to open up a coffee shop. Apart from the fact that I have been drinking coffee since about the age of seven, I love the atmosphere of most coffee shops. Granted there are some coffee shops that are all about the profit of massed produced coffee, but there are those coffee shops that create a beautiful atmosphere for catalyzing relationships and conversations. I want that! I want to create a place like that.

What is a world without Playgounds

2007-09-29T00:49:00.000-07:00

Feed me, feed, me, why won't you just give me what I need. All you do is take. I need to grow but there are things to do, money to make, and people to talk about behind their backs. I want to be authentic, but no one will let me be true. I am still discovering this world, love and breathing. But why do I feel like I must fall in line to the secrets of time. But my child mind is wondering, whats more and I am to be anything. But everyone is running around like ants on this green ground. I want to break away from obligation and the life of maturity. Can I not make a difference without being mature? Or does that bar me from humanity or being accepted among society? I know that I trust with for eternity and you can't. Is my child mind to real for this reality. Can I actually comprehend life better than your mature mind? What kind of wisdom do you have if you can't even be honest to me? I guess I have a lot of "growing up" to do, because it doesn't make sense!

Please Excuse the Absent

2007-09-27T09:19:00.000-07:00

Wow has it really been this long since I last wrote on this thing? Thats amazing...my bad! Its amazing how the journey of life can lead you to many different aspects in life. It can lead to weird conversations of the mind. It can lead to things never before thought of. Hopefully I can more of these conversations and not just with myself.

But let us take a break from reality just a bit and indulge in its serenity. Lets create a dream world apart from reality where every one is accepted. Everyone is welcomed to come as they are. Where one is not based upon their talents or abilities, but rather their Character and responsibility. Responsibility to humanity.

In the wild

2007-03-20T00:58:00.000-07:00

There is a poison in my veins

Killing these selfish desires

Leaving only an element

Found in its rare form

So untamed, uncontrolled

There is a poison in my veins

That changes the way I live

Off beat steps are my path

Traveled by so few

I find this my home

There is a poison in my veins

Changes these mouthed words

Words often unspoken

To many have lost meaning

To many deemed worthless.

There is a poison in my veins that somehow found its way to my blood in the secret of light. This poison has begun to change everything I do, the way I live, the way I talk, the way I see life. I connect this poison to my savior and in its true form creates life from lifelessness. This poison I find is key to genisis, the creation of all things, the breath of all things. Without it we find a loss of meaningful words that are so often unspoken. Join me as this poison takes control. Do not fight this poison, do not neglect it, embrace this poison, let it consume you in all its glory.

Gravity Gets Things Done!

2007-03-09T20:45:00.000-08:00

My favorite moments in life are the ones the bring us back to the beginning. The conversations, the community, the events, that bring one back to the heart of things. I had a great conversation, with a great friend, a great mentor, a great human being. We talked about life and how we were bring Jesus to table with our friends and other relationships. Sometimes I get wrapped up with what I am doing, I forget who I am doing it for and why. I forget how they can help me in life.

Like gravity I am brought back to who I am, what I am doing, and why. Its moments like these I hope change is a huge factor. For a while I have been living in the motions. I am suffering from motions sickness. It sucks because motions sickness can be fatal sometimes. It can cause atrophy within the muscles and the voice of a person.

Thankfully there is a cure for that. Hopefully I get the treatment soon!